Five Ways To Tell If A Friend Is Not Real

It’s hard to make friends as an adult. Even harder is finding real friends who don’t have any other goals in mind. It’s important to be able to tell the difference between a real friend and a fake one so that you don’t waste time, energy, and feeling on someone who isn’t worth it. Luckily, there are a lot of little red flags that can help you tell the difference between a friend and an enemy.

Five Signs That Your Friend Is Not Real

It’s hard to tell if someone really cares about us like they say they do or if they’re just another fake friend. The first few weeks of a new friendship are like the honeymoon period in a relationship: everything seems great all the time.

But if you know how to spot them, a fake friend who is only there to use you for their own gain will show their real colours over time. You can spot a fake friend before it’s too late by keeping an eye out for these signs.

1. They always talk about other people.

Once you talk to or hang out with this so-called friend, they start talking badly about other people or saying things about other people that they probably shouldn’t. It’s likely that they also tell other people that about you.

Comments like these can be mean or flattering in a sneaky way. It’s clear that you can’t trust this person either way.

If you have a friend who always says nice things about other people (like, “I love that woman’s haircut, it looks great on her! “), you should be wary. Have you heard that Jessica got a rise? Since she has worked so hard, she deserves it.), then it’s likely that they also talk about you that way. You should keep an eye on these people because they are good things in the world.

 

2. Being around them makes you feel bad about yourself.

Friends are meant to make our lives better and help us feel better. They’ll make you feel better and like you can take on the world after you spend time with them.

“Having close, supportive, and encouraging people in your life makes you feel better about yourself,” says Robert Rowney, D.O., who is a certified psychiatrist and the head of the mood disorder unit at the Cleveland Clinic. “Having real friends makes you feel better about yourself, and helping out a good friend in this way can make you feel better about yourself too.”
People who make you feel bad every time you hang out with them might not really be your friends.

3. They always find the bad things about you.

Being able to tell each other when you’re wrong is a sign of a real friendship. You know how to do it in a way that doesn’t put the other person down but instead encourages them to be better.

Besides the good things you’re doing, they can also point out the bad ones, says Rowney. “If they’re a real friend that you trust, they’ll tell you everything that’s on their mind.” One of the most important things about friends is that they are honest and open. There are two types of fake friends: those who will either keep quiet when you have spinach in your teeth or are doing something they know will make you hurt yourself, or those who will always point out your flaws. Both of these types of friends are not what you need.

 

4. They never be there for you, but they expect you to be there for them all the time.

That person whom you always have to cancel last-minute plans with, who is never there to listen when you need someone to talk to, and who always makes promises they don’t keep.

And this is the same person who gets mad or upset when they can’t reach you when they need you.

A real friend is someone who:

is there and interested, and who cares about your needs.
They pay attention to you instead of making the talk about themselves all the time.
Because they know what hurts you or makes you anxious, they can tell when you’re feeling that way and know when to help.
They are always there for you, even when things are hard.
They care about your friendship and make time for you even when it’s not handy.
Rowney says, “People don’t make time to really be with their friends, and that really gets in the way of these bonds.” “Following through with plans to see them can really hurt the friendships overall, and it’s one of the main reasons why friendships end.”
If you feel like someone is taking more from you than they’re giving, they probably aren’t your real friend.

5. They hold grudges.

We all make mistakes sometimes; that’s just being human. A fake friend, on the other hand, will always remember it. That is what they will say to you to make you feel bad and force you to do what they want.

Most of the time, these people are just trying to get what they want from you. Once they have it, they’ll leave, only to come back when they need something else.

True friends let you forget. They know mistakes are going to happen. They will forgive you and move on after you’ve talked about it and apologised properly. They won’t bring up that event again.

Randy Taran, author and director of Project Happiness, says, “When problems arise, true friends are brave enough to come clean instead of spreading rumours and letting tensions rise.” “True friends understand, and after understanding, they can forgive.”
In Short
A fake friend will send you a lot of little signs that they aren’t telling the truth. Watch out for them so you don’t waste your time, energy, and mental support on the wrong people. You deserve friends who love you as much as you love them. Don’t settle for anything less than that.