9 Things Terrible People Do

No one is perfect, and even the nicest people in the world have probably done something harmful at some point. I’m sure I have. However, there is a big difference between acting toxically once in a while and doing the things that all toxic people do all the time.

When toxic people treat others badly, it usually shows how they feel about themselves. In her Psych Central post, Joyce Marter, LCPC says, “It’s important to know that toxic people often make you feel how they feel about themselves—in other words, it’s more about them than it is about you.” Even if you know this, being in a relationship with a toxic person, whether it’s sexual or not, can be so stressful and confusing that it hurts your mental health.

So, it’s very important to know how to tell when someone is harmful so you stay away from them. It might sound cold, but it’s very important for your health. Trust me, if you put up with toxic people’s bad habits over and over again, your mental health and self-esteem will need a lot of work when you finally separate yourself from them.

Luckily, it’s not hard to spot a harmful person as long as you know what habits to watch out for.

1. They Do Not Pay Attention

https://giphy.com/gifs/loki-sarcastic-sarcasm-x2JMoEdwvNDvW?utm_source=iframe&utm_medium=embed&utm_campaign=Embeds&utm_term=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.bustle.com%2Farticles%2F142148-9-habits-all-toxic-people-have-in-common%3Futm_campaign%3Dfbproliqbustle&%3Butm_content=eCUMjAy&%3Butm_medium=pro&%3Butm_source=facebook&%3Blsid=-2sotu5ntg&%3Bfbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR2yLDrEc87UXaAFFXE2tQU986aFwVoVgeq-LrIlWDYdygVA49FEYoYiK4U_aem_ATotlWI6fSrULL-NAdgGfruRIG240ZClDiHBykEv5Zi6zhD5Em12wLU9UTQDCGaL_ncdUu21JrlyO3sqDBZW7790

People who are toxic don’t listen well. I’ve known toxic people who would tell me to “shut up” or “stop talking” whenever I tried to have a serious chat with them about something that was bothering me. The toxic person would usually talk more than listen. As it turns out, bad people often act this way, and you shouldn’t do it yourself or put up with it from others.

2. They’re always joking around

 

If you like Chandler Bing and Lorelei Gilmore as much as I do, you know that humour can be really funny. However, I’m sure you also know that humour can be hurtful and over the top. At some point or another, I think we’ve all made the mistake of being too sarcastic. But for toxic people, using cruel, condescending sarcasm every day comes from anger, mistrust, being afraid to say how they feel, and a lack of trust in others. In their article about how to stop snark, Psychology Today said it this way:

Being sarcastic comes from being angry, distrustful, or afraid. People who use are usually mad or upset, don’t trust the other person (or themselves) to speak clearly, and are afraid to take a chance and say how they really feel.
Even worse, toxic people don’t realise how much damage they’re doing because they’re used to using nasty sarcasm all the time. In fact, every time I told a toxic person they were being rude to me, they got angry and/or said I was being “too sensitive.” Know that you’re not being too sensitive if this happens to you. It’s not good to talk to someone you care about with hurtful sarcasm all the time. Always.

3. They put other people to blame for their problems and how they feel.

People who are toxic often don’t want to take responsibility for their problems, their lives, or even their feelings. In fact, toxic people often put the blame for everything bad in their lives on other people, whether it’s a failing relationship or a bad test.

Some people act badly because they’ve been hurt deeply and haven’t dealt with those feelings yet. Australian therapist Jodie Gale tells Psych Central, “They are not yet able to take responsibility for their wounds, their feelings, their needs, and the problems that come from those things.”

4. They tell a lot of lies

Lying is another way for bad people to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, so they do it all the time. Bad people often lie because they don’t like themselves, but they also lie to get what they want. Further, if the toxic person has a personality problem that isn’t being treated, they may feel compelled to lie all the time.

That person who lies all the time probably has a lot of fear going on. If someone is dealing with such severe fear, it’s natural to want to understand why they’re going through so much pain. However, this means they can’t be trusted. And don’t think that the lies in your life are only lying to other people. They are lying to you too.

5. They like to show off

To begin, there is a difference between being happy about your accomplishments and talking about them. A good thing is to be proud of yourself and to want to beat other people. But wanting to be “better off” than everyone else and getting pleasure from doing better than your family and friends is definitely a bad way to think. It’s not good for toxic people to always be looking for ways to beat others. They might do this by talking about how much better their job, relationship, or yoga skills are than someone else’s. This need to brag comes from a deep-seated sense of insecurity, and it’s not good to show or be around people who do this.

6. They make other people look bad

When poisonous people are angry, they often put other people down because they are deeply insecure, afraid to talk about how they feel, or angry without any control.

One more time, this comes back to the fact that toxic people usually have very low self-esteem. Toxic people need to put other people down, as Maria Bogdanos wrote for Psych Central. This need probably comes from childhood hurts that they haven’t dealt with yet. This can lead to calling someone names, bragging, or cruel sarcasm at other times. When it does happen, though, this chronic condescension is really bad, and I’ve seen toxic people try to pass it off as funny. It’s not funny, though; it’s a sign of being abused emotionally. Not only should you not put up with it, but you should also not act in this way.

7. They put things off a lot

 

I think everyone has put things off at some point, but bad people often do it all the time. Toxic people don’t take charge of their lives and might not even have goals for themselves.

When it comes to their wants or goals, toxic people might not put things off, but they will wait as long as you let them to pay you back.

8. They like to talk about other people behind their backs.

People who are toxic love to talk about other people. That is, the gossip that hurts people’s names and is either really mean or helps people get what they want. People who are toxic will even talk badly about the people they love and spend the most time with by habit. If someone you know talks about your friends in this way behind their back, they’re probably also talking about you behind your back when you’re not around.

9. They’re controlling and manipulative

There are many reasons why toxic people control other people. Psychology Today says that some people are manipulative because they are selfish and need to be liked. Sometimes, the need to control others comes from wanting to feel like a monster. It’s also possible that toxic people take advantage of others because they are mentally unstable.

Of course, poisonous people need to control and manipulate others because they can’t take responsibility for their own lives, feelings, and problems. That’s why they always try to control and manipulate others. Then, they’ll try to hide the fact that they’re mentally abusive, toxic, and controlling by saying they care about the people they’re trying to control and manipulate.

The goal of toxic people is to find your emotional weak spots and then take advantage of them to get what they want from you. There are many complicated reasons why toxic people become manipulators over time, so don’t think you can “fix” them. Instead, if you feel like you need to control and trick the people around you, you might want to talk to a mental health professional about it. The people you care about most will suffer if you don’t.