Every split is different. Even though they tend to make people feel bad, they’re generally upsetting for a wide variety of different reasons. There are some things you should always do right after a breakup, no matter how long or short the relationship was.
“There is an art to breaking up with someone,” says relationship expert Audrey Hope to Bustle. “You can get through it if you do what needs to be done.”
No matter who ended the relationship or how it ended, it’s normal to feel a lot of different things afterward. This is a time when you should put your own needs first in order to get over this.Getting over a breakup by giving yourself time to heal is important if you want to be able to move on to a new relationship. So, what do you need to do after you break up with someone?
Hope says that there are nine things you should always do right after a breakup.
1. See your friends and family
Right after a split, it’s important to be around people who care about you. Visit your family and hang out with your friends. Your friends and family care about you and will keep you busy so you don’t think about your ex. Hope says, “Talk to them, make them laugh, and make plans for dinner.” “Basically, spend as much time with friends as you can and as little time alone as possible.”
2. Leave the city
If you can afford to take some time off, you might want to go on a trip to get away from the breakup. Hope says, “There’s nothing like a change of scenery to help the heart.” “A trip to a spa where you can take care of your body is even better. Get love out of your system, in a physical sense.”
3. Talk to a professional about it
Talking to your friends is a great way to get over a breakup, but sometimes you need help from a professional. Getting help from a counsellor will make this new change easier for you, and they can also give you great advice. “Don’t be shy or ashamed to have your own therapist on hand,” says Hope. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help when you need it.
4. Put some distance between yourself and the person.
If you can, try to stay away from places where your ex might be. Instead of going to the restaurant you and your ex always went to, use this time to try out new places. Hope says, “It is true that being alone will help you heal.”
You can also put some space between yourself and your relationship by not asking about your ex. Don’t ask people you both know what your ex is doing, and don’t follow your ex on social media. Hope says, “Get rid of all accounts, phone numbers, and names that lead to this person.” “Change your whole energy and stay away from their bad energy.”
5. Get rid of all reminders.
Anything that makes you think of your ex should go. Hope tells her to get rid of everything that makes her think of this person. Get rid of any things that remind you of your ex as a way to physically say goodbye to the relationship.
6. Take a break from dating for a while
You shouldn’t start dating again right away after breaking up with someone. Taking some time to get used to being single will help you figure out who you are without your ex. Hope says, “Enjoy being single so you can think about everything that has happened and learn from it.” “Get ready for the future and future relationships by taking a break from your significant other and taking some time to relax by yourself.”
7. Do what you love.
Do something you love or have always been interested in when you’re by yourself. Hope says, “Take that class or try that hobby you’ve always wanted to do, or read that book you never had time for.” “Be excited and thankful that you’re letting yourself dream again.”
8. Look after yourself
Breakups are hard, so give yourself some time to heal. “Regroup and take care of your mind, body, and soul,” says Hope. “Stay in bed and wrap yourself in a big, soft blanket while you watch TV.”
Right after a breakup, it’s important to take care of your mental, physical, and emotional health, so don’t feel bad about hitting the snooze button.
9. Reward yourself
Even though you don’t need an excuse to treat yourself, doing the things you love is a great way to get over a split. “Have some ice cream and cookies and enjoy the nutritional love,” says Hope. Taking happiness in small things can go a long way. Go ahead and do anything that makes you happy.
Taking care of yourself after a breakup is the best way to move on to a healthy, happy life without your partner.